Finding and Maintaining Your Dream Love with Riana Milne | POP 765

Share this content
A photo of Riana Milne is captured. Riana Milne is a Certified, Global Life, Love Trauma Recovery & Mindset Coach. Riana Milne is featured on Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

How can unresolved childhood trauma break down relationships and marriages? What does a healthy relationship actually look like? What is the strongest marker of a loving and sustainable relationship?

In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks about finding and maintaining the love of your dreams with Riana Milne.

Podcast Sponsor: Level Up Week

A photo of the Podcast, Sponsor Level Up Week, is captured. Level Up week sponsors the Practice of the Practice Podcast

You’re probably entering that phase where you start to set yourself up for 2023, you’re thinking about what your goals are gonna be, what you’re not going to do, and what you hope to achieve.

But regardless of where you are within your private practice journey, I’m challenging you to make these last few months count, to dig deep, and to make next year the one for big changes within your business – and more importantly – within yourself.

So if you’ve been looking for a sign to either start your own private practice, grow from solo to group, or become a next-level group practice boss, this is it…and you’re certainly not alone, because Practice of the Practice is doing something we’ve never done before.

We’re so convinced that now is the time for you to grow that we’re dedicating all our resources to help you do it. We’re all in. Every single one of us. And we’re inviting you to go all in and level up.

From September 12 to 15 we’ll be running ‘Level Up’ week to help you decide what will work best for you in your private practice journey. There will be webinars, Q&As with experts, and a chance for you to meet your accountability partners, facilitators, and community.

So if you’re ready to make a change and level up, register at practiceofthepractice.com/levelup and follow our Facebook and Instagram pages @practiceofthepractice for live updates and event details.

Make September 2022 the month that you start your journey and level up.

Meet Riana Milne

A photo of Riana Milne is captured. She is a Certified, Global Life, Love Trauma Recovery & Mindset Coach, a Certified Clinical Trauma & Addictions Professional, and a #1 Bestselling Author. Riane is featured on the Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

Riana Milne is a Certified, Global Life, Love Trauma Recovery & Mindset Coach, a Certified Clinical Trauma & Addictions Professional, a #1 Bestselling Author, the Host of  Lessons in Life & Love™, an Educational Speaker, and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. She specializes in helping adults heal from past, unconscious childhood & love relationship trauma and teaches how to overcome Life’s Difficult Transition.

Riana was Selected as “One of the Top Coaches to Follow in 2022” by Wealth Insider Magazine and is also featured in FORBES Magazine. She was also selected in 2021 as “One of The 100 Most Successful Women Around the World” by The Global Trade Chamber.

Visit her website and connect on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

FREEBIE: Get Riana’s free e-book, How to Have the Love You Deserve

In This Podcast

  • How the past is present in your dating
  • How unresolved trauma is present in marriage
  • What a healthy relationship looks like
  • Riana’s advice to private practitioners

How the past is present in your dating

Unresolved childhood trauma and family of origin issues can remain present in your dating life if you are not aware of them, or haven’t made an effort to heal them.

When I see [childhood] abandonment in my clients this is what usually leads them to high anxiety, clinginess, dependent relationships, or what we call RRS, relationship-repetition syndrome. (Riana Milne)

If you have unhealed or unresolved childhood trauma, you may often find yourself getting stuck in the “same old” relationship patterns where these traumas are present and get acted out.

You might blame your partner often, not take responsibility for what you bring to the situation, or argue in unhealthy ways.

Remember, the coping mechanisms that you built in childhood were made to protect yourself. In adulthood, if left unchecked, these mechanisms can begin to develop maladaptive behavioral patterns, but they can be changed.

They become behavioral norms that they bring into their [adult] love relationships and that’s how [the relationships] start breaking down. (Riana Milne)

How unresolved trauma is present in marriage

For 90 days to four months, everybody seems to be perfect. There is passion, love, romance, intimacy, and sexual interest.

Usually, from four months to nine months – or when the relationship becomes more substantial – this “honeymoon” period ends, and the more complex sides of each person come to light as the glitter fades.

If the couple is set on being together and working through struggles, then they both need to be willing to address and resolve their childhood traumas.

[I] see where they are emotionally triggering each other, heal that, teach the other why they are triggered and what’s going on. So, with couples, I do both individual sessions and then [a] couple session. (Riana Milne)

What a healthy relationship looks like

Most people fall in love with chemistry and the connection that they have with a person, and the brain likes to stick to what it knows and what is familiar.

It doesn’t know if it’s taking you back to the past which is healthy or unhealthy, so chemistry is the brain recognizing some behavioral patterns that it knows. (Riana Milne)

If you grew up in a toxic environment, you haven’t yet resolved that trauma, and you feel chemistry with someone, you may be reacting to and feel attracted to the familiarity of that toxicity.

Pursue education and learn what a healthy relationship looks like to discern whether you and your partner might need some extra help. Some qualities of a healthy, well-functioning relationship include:

  • A solid foundation: the ability to trust and be trusted. You have confidence in who you are as individuals, so you love who you are and you celebrate each other. You are not stuck in patterns of trying to rescue one another.
  • Flexibility: you are both open-minded, caring, emotionally open, and understanding. You can allow for safe and loving conversations, even during conflict.
  • Fidelity: being honest and loyal to your partner, and having integrity. Do the right things even when nobody is looking.
  • Base the relationship on a friendship: you respect each other and have kindness and thoughtfulness towards one another.

Your partner should be your best friend and when it’s rooted in friendship, you should be able to talk about anything, and that’s what makes a long sustainable relationship. (Riana Milne)

  • You can have fun together: you share common interests and hobbies that you can do together and look forward to.
  • Intimacy: a healthy combination of platonic and romantic intimacy that involves emotional and physical vulnerability.
  • Respect boundaries: you both have good self-esteem and respect and appreciate one another’s boundaries within the relationship.
  • Purpose: you both lead healthy, well-developed lives with your own purposes that you can share and celebrate with one another.
  • Spirituality: you have a similar belief or faith in something other than yourselves. This is the way you think, live, and act.

If you have two spiritual individuals, it makes the best and longest-lasting relationship. (Riana Milne)

Riana’s advice to private practitioners

Go for your dreams!

Books mentioned in this episode:

Useful Links mentioned in this episode:

Check out these additional resources:

Meet Joe Sanok

A photo of Joe Sanok is displayed. Joe, private practice consultant, offers helpful advice for group practice owners to grow their private practice. His therapist podcast, Practice of the Practice, offers this advice.

Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.

Thanks For Listening!

Feel free to leave a comment below or share this podcast on social media by clicking on one of the social media links below! Alternatively, leave a review on iTunes and subscribe!

Podcast Transcription

[JOE SANOK] This is the Practice of the Practice Podcast with Joe Sanok, session number 765. Welcome to the Practice of the Practice Podcast. I’m Joe Sanok, your host, and I am so glad that you are here with me today. We are now doing four episodes a week where we are talking all about starting, growing, scaling, and exiting your private practice. We cover all sorts of things inside of private practice but also outside of private practice, so sometimes business principles or mindsets or different things like that. If you are new to the show, welcome, so glad that you’re here. If you’ve been around for a while, as I know a lot of you have, welcome back. Today I am so excited to have Riana Milne. Riana was selected one of the top coaches to follow in 2022 by Wealth Insider Magazine and has also been featured in Forbes Magazine. She’s one of the top hundred most successful women around the world from the Global Trade Chamber. She also is a life and dating coach for the 12 show docu-series, Radical Dating Finds Lasting Love Over 40. Riana, welcome to the Practice of the Practice Podcast. [RIANA MILNE] Thank you, Joe. Thanks so much for having me. I’m happy to be here. [JOE] Yes, yes, we got through some tech snafus before we started and now we made it so I feel like we’ve accomplished something. Well, tell me a little bit about how you got into this type of coaching. [RIANA] Well, sure. I came the traditional psychotherapist route in year 2000. I graduated with a triple Masters in Applied Clinical and Counseling Psychology and when I was able to be certified in coaching in 2009, I did life and relationship coaching through RCI, Relationship Coaching Institute. I loved the coaching model because it’s very educational and I knew I wanted to come out with a coaching program. So it took me a little while. I wrote a number one bestselling book, Love Beyond Your Dreams, that was 400 pages, all based on research, then Live Beyond Your Dreams from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success. That’s all based on the mindset for success that I was teaching since my twenties. Then from my research I uncovered actually from my own personal love trauma where that exists from and it’s from unhealed childhood trauma. Even though I had close to a doctorate in psychology, that term childhood trauma was never taught to us in a triple masters of psychology. I found out from a partner when he said, I don’t know why I sabotage everything I love, I don’t know what’s the matter with me and I said, I don’t either, but I need to figure it out for my own healing, for his healing, for my forgiveness factor. When I uncovered the whole dynamic of healing childhood trauma, I said, I have to take this to the world. Being a psychotherapist, you can only work in your own state as a global certified coach. Then I went on to be CCTP Advanced 1 and 2, which is a certified clinical trauma professional. That became my niche, my focus and I help men and women, singles and couples around the world heal from their original childhood trauma and unconscious fear-based negative thinking to become more consciously aware and have the skills in dating and love relationships to make them emotionally healthy, conscious and sustainable over time. That’s what I do and that’s how I got into it. [JOE] Well, tell us a little bit about, maybe we’ll talk first about folks that are in the dating world and then maybe talk about people that are in long-term relationships. When you think about people in the dating world, how does family of origin, childhood trauma, all of that what do you see happening and playing out when people are in the dating world? [RIANA] Oh, there’s so many dynamics that come up, but I’ll give you a few. I identified the top 10 childhood traumas, which are quite different from the ACE Test. I did mine childhood trauma checklist in 2012 when I saw the ACE Test years later and I’m like, “Oh my god, how could they not include bullying or abandonment or verbal messaging? There was a lot that I identified working with kids of trauma in the schools. I worked in every A grade level. I worked at a mental health ward for kids ages 5 through 19 a drug and alcohol, LCADC counselor, so I worked in rehab centers and with women of the prison system. So all my clients over many years had childhood trauma, which was the basis of their pain as an adult or a teenager and I felt there was a lot of misses in that. So when I started doing the studies and went deeper into relationships, which the Kaiser Permanente Study did not really go into, they went into health and how trauma impacts health, which is huge but I went into the relationship areas. With the trauma’s not healed, what shows up, let’s say from trauma number seven, which is personal trauma, that could be maybe, you felt different growing up, meaning you might have been born with a medical condition or you diagnosed ADHD in school, or you might have come out as a gay or lesbian teen and weren’t accepted by your family or peers or might have been the only African American in an all-Caucasian school. There’s many reasons why people feel they don’t fit in. They could have been a chubby, overweight child or skinny and gawky and called a nerd. Bullying falls under that number seven of my 10. So that combination with verbal messaging, which is trauma number two, so let’s say your parents never said the words, “I love you or I’m proud of you, that’s okay, you didn’t win. I saw you trying your best good job kiddo.” If you didn’t hear messages like that, instead you heard things like, “Why don’t you change your outfit? You look fat in that.” Or “No, I’m not sending you to college. I’m not going to waste my money.” You’ll just flunk out. these messages where you’re not good enough, worthy enough, pretty enough, smart enough, stay with us. Those two combinations are very lethal. This is where you might see jealousy of your partner or control because self-esteem is lacking. Very much people, I see this in a lot of my women who grow up, let’s say with an alcoholic difficult father who if they drink, they’re going to yell and scream. Well, she learned to be the good little girl and doing everything to please her father, which then moves on to please her husband. These women usually come to me burn out saying, I don’t know who I am. I have none of my own goals and dreams. They’re people pleasing. The kids, the husband just have peace in their home, can’t say no, they’re resentful, they have low self-esteem and exhaustion. Now, if it’s someone experienced abandonment issues, which is my trauma number five, and I name two types, there’s fault and no-fault abandonment, so a no fault abandonment would be, for example, if a parent happened to die early or they leave the country in your home to go serve their country in war or even if a parent has to travel a lot but that’s how they support their families. In their mind they’re doing a good thing by working wherever it takes them but it is still a form of a no-fault abandonment. Now a fault abandonment would be the parent never being involved in the child’s life or they’re involved until the couple breaks up and then they barely see the kids or there’s a lot of broken promises around the visits. Or another one can be the parent is there inside the home, but they’re just emotionally detached. They’re absent, they don’t go to the kids’ activities, their art show, their sport events. They just go from the office, eat dinner, then into their home office and barely interact. Those are forms abandonment. When I see abandonment in my clients, this is what leads them usually to high anxiety, clingingness, dependent relationships or what we call RRS, Relationship Repetition Syndrome. That can be really frustrating. That’s when consciously you’re aware, let’s say a woman says, I know this guy’s not good for me. They break up and about five to seven, 10 days later the texting starts again and I miss you. They remember only the good times. Then they get back together and the sweet spot is about seven to 14 days and then the anger starts again. This is what we call the domestic cycle of violence and it’s back and forth and the research shows in averages seven times getting back together and breaking up. RRS can also show up when a marriage is ending, they’re divorced. The one partner has moved on and the other one says, “Okay, I’m going to go get love right this time.” Then because of “chemistry,” which is the worst way to fall in love, they go off and attract another toxic partner and then another one. So I usually see my clients after toxic relationship number three. It’s a very frustrated place to be where you don’t know why you’re attracting these types of partners into your life. There’s also perfectionism, not taking responsibility, blaming your partner, blurting out, saying words that leave people shocked. We had that one of our top politicians lately, they would say things that it’s like, what did he just say? We call that blurting out. He happened to grow out with a very tyrant alcoholic father. These patterns become coping mechanisms when you’re young to survive what’s going on in the household with the angry or addictive parents or the toxic relationship of the parents. Then they become behavioral norms that they’re bringing into their love relationships and that’s how they start breaking down. [JOE] What do those things look like in a marriage or a long-term relationship, when you see people from a relationship perspective that are in longer term relationships, how do those things pop up there? [RIANA] Okay, well the sweet spot for a relationship is the first, we call it the 90-day role. 90 days to four months, everybody seems to be perfect. That’s when there’s passion and love and romance and sexual intimacy and everything seems glorious. The studies show from four months to nine months or when something becomes more substantial, so there couldn’t be engagement, moving in together, a marriage or having a child. This is when you start seeing these toxic behaviors show up. It could be they barely drank in the first 90 days, now you’re living together and all of a sudden you see them drinking every night. Then their moods change or they fly off the handle over something that nobody else would get mad at or they’re trying to isolate you from your friends because they need more time with you. So you see a heavy dependency on your time. I see a lot of patterns when I work with successful women, if they’re dating someone that is a man that’s not as successful, they often will sabotage her career, making her late for meetings or talking when she’s on a phone call or getting mad because she had to take a client call. So we see a lot of this toxic stuff going on over time. When I work with couples, I have to take partner A because I work with straight and LGBTQ couples as well, so I take partner A and I have to do their childhood trauma healing. Then I have to work with partner B and do their childhood trauma healing and see where they are emotionally triggering each other, heal that, teach the other why they are triggered and what’s going on. With couples, I do both individual sessions and then couple session, but they do have a 90-page to 150-page workbook depending what program they sign up under because the worksheets are giving them the education and then how they answer this short answers that I ask them in the worksheets tells me what I have to do to coach them to become more emotionally healthy and stable. [LEVEL UP] I think it’s time that we speak about you and your goals for a minute. Hear me out. For a while now, we’ve been speaking about how to market your practice, how to grow your practice, and how to be a better boss and encourage a company culture. But isn’t it time to start making it happen? I’m serious, I’m challenging you to just do it. Take that leap of faith, put yourself out there and level up in your practice. Think about it. You’re probably entering that phase where you start to set yourself up for 2023. You’re thinking about what your goals are going to be, what you’re not going to do and what you hope to achieve. But regardless of where you are within your private practice journey, I’m challenging you to make these last few months count to dig deep, to make next year the one for big changes within your business and more importantly within yourself. So if you’ve been looking for a sign to either start your own private practice, grow from solo to group, or become a next level Group Practice Boss, this is it. You’re certainly not alone because Practice of the Practice is doing something we’ve never done before. We’re so convinced that now is the time for you to grow, that we’re dedicating all our resources to help you do it. We’re all in, every single one of us and we’re inviting you to go all in and level up. From September 12th to September 15th, we’ll be running Level Up Week to help you decide what will work best for you in your private practice journey. There will be webinars. Q&As with experts and a chance for you to meet your accountability partners, facilitators, and community. So if you’re ready to make a change and level up register at practiceofthepractice.com/levelup and follow our Facebook and Instagram pages at Practice of the Practice for live updates and event details. Lastly, before I jump back into this episode, I just want to say that I really hope to see you there, even if it’s just online. Remember that leveling up week isn’t about us. It’s not about me or about Practice of the Practice. It’s all about you and growing your practice, whether it be your first solo practice or growing you from Group Practice Boss to reaching a national audience. Make September, 2022, the month that you start your journey and level up. [JOE SANOK] So when people are more emotionally and healthy and stable what would you say that looks like compared to maybe how the average couple thinks a healthy relationship looks? [RIANA] Well, most people fall in love by chemistry and this is what’s happening. The brain likes homeostasis, meaning it likes what it knows, it likes to keep you in a state of “normal.” It doesn’t know if it’s taking you back to the past, which is healthy or unhealthy. So chemistry is the brain recognizing some behavioral patterns that it knows and it gets lit up. That’s chemistry. If you grow up in some toxic environment and you’re feeling chemistry, it could be very dangerous. There is more that most people don’t know about love. There’s questions they should be asking on date, one or two to see if you’re a good match and what are the values and the qualities of someone. But knowing what the emotionally healthy relationship looks like, then people can identify, yes, we are struggling. Actually, I have a relationship quiz on my website, rianamilne.com, where it’s 36 questions and you can see are you in a healthy or an unhealthy relationship. It’s a free test there. But an emotionally healthy one. Let me tell you this checklist that I have, the first one would be a solid foundation, meaning the ability to trust and be trusted. You have confidence in who you are individually, meaning you love who you are and so does your partner. You’re proud of where you are in life. You have your life together. You’re not coming to someone to rescue you with a lot of debt. You’re both equally strong people and you share the same moral values. Super important. Second is flexibility. You’re both open-minded, you’re caring, easygoing in your moods, you’re emotionally open, understanding, and you allow for safe and loving conversations. You’re not going to agree on everything. You’re two different people. So there should never be any yelling in a relationship unless someone’s in harm’s way then you yell, “Watch out.” And then that’s the only reason somebody should yell at you. So if there’s yelling in a relationship, you know this is not healthy, you should be able to have loving conversations and work as a team. The second next one is fidelity, which means being honest and loyal to your partner and having integrity, which I define as doing the right things when nobody’s looking. You’re proud of that fact that you live in total integrity. This relationship is also based in friendship so it’s not getting intimate on date one, two, or three. You’re really building a friendship, meaning that you respect each other. There’s kindness and thoughtfulness. You act as a best friend. Your partner should be your best friend. When it’s rooted in friendship, you should be able to talk about anything. That’s what makes a long sustainable relationship. Also, you have to have fun, common interest, hobbies, shared activities that you enjoy together and you look forward to. Intimacy has to be a balance of love, deep friendship, daily affection with your partner, fulfilling romance that you don’t stop just because you’re married. It’s funny, I had a couple in my office and, she’s said we never go anywhere. I asked the man hen’s the last time you had a date? I know when the eyes go up to the ceiling, we’re in trouble because he’s like, trying to think the last time those two went out alone. Then he’s like, “Well, she’s not intimate with me.” I said, “Well, you stopped dating and romancing her.” He goes, “Well, I married her.” I said, “Well, do you still want sex? Then you better take your wife out for some dates.” Because that’s how a woman gets sexual. They’re two different human beings and most men and women don’t know their brains are hardwired differently for sexual intimacy so I have to teach that. Then we just talk about everything and get them on the same page there. They have to be able to compromise, negotiate differences when they have it, be able to apologize easy and quickly, be able to forgive, which is a spiritual concept. You’re not looking to win these battles because you’re going to lose the war, which is the marriage. So you’re both balanced individuals. You both have healthy self-esteem. You respect and know the boundaries of yourself and your relationship. You each have purpose in your life through your work, and you have quality relationships with your families of origin and your friends. The last, and one of the most important ways couples stay together, believe it or not, from the research, is spirituality, meaning they have this similar belief and faith in something greater than themselves. It doesn’t mean you have to go to church at four o’clock on Sundays. It means when you’re spiritual, it’s a way you think live and act 24/7. If you have two spiritual individuals, it makes the best and longest lasting relationship. It provides guidance and it demands accountability to who you are individually and to your partner. So those are just a few from one page of Love Beyond Your Dreams book. [JOE] When you think about society in general and what people are being taught, so I’m raising two daughters on my own and thinking about how can I be the best single dad I can be and make sure that whether it’s relationships or sexuality or all the things that they’re going to have to learn going into the world in regards to relationships, what do you think society is doing wrong? Then what can maybe aware parents that want to pass on different messages do as parents? [RIANA] Well, I got to say, I think society is a mess today. It makes me very sad as a grandmother of six to see what my little children are growing up under. It’s horrifying. I saw a documentary probably about a year ago called Spring Break and this whole hookup culture of people just sleeping with each other. They don’t know each other’s names. It’s a contest, okay, we come with 20 condoms, let’s use them all this week. I mean, it’s like, are you kidding me? Now what I found when I did a lot of research on growing resilient teens, I also have two daughters are very successful today, one just addressed Congress last week and the other one is a top world coach, very successful, I taught them what I developed in my twenties called the Mindset for Success. It keeps them very focused on their life, their goals. My master thesis was how the arts helps improve self-esteem and decrease high-risk behavior. I had all kinds of pretests and posttests on that. The thesis is actually on the internet today. It’s got some long thesis title but it’s under my name, Rowan University, Terryana Milne. But it shows that when you are really involving children in their own talent, whether it be dancing or singing modeling, broadcasting, whatever they love, find them something that they enjoy. Too much time on a kid’s hands is when they get in trouble, they’re on the internet too much or on social media, which is a mess. This whole, again, hookup culture and if you’re hot, you’re somebody. If you’re not, you’re not. Really teach the importance of believing in their dreams. When my daughter, Alexi Pano said to me at five years old when she was watching the Feed the Children commercial, she goes, “Mom, I’m going to go to Africa and help those kids one day,” I said, “Baby, I believe you will.” Well, by 6, 15 she wanted to be a pop singer. That was the time of Britney Spears and Christine Aguilera. So being a talent agent at that time, I did put her with a top artist and she sings on three multi-platinum CDs. When she was on World tour, she ends up in Africa, she pulls together a contact with the UN and her and her best friends started putting water wells in Africa at age 21. Now she’s 38 and have over 21 working wells, water wells in Tanzania, Africa. So this goes back to childhood. What are their dreams? Nurture them. Tell them to believe in them. No dream is stupid. A lot of kids say, I want to be an actor. It’s like, oh no, you don’t want to be that. You’ll make no money. Well, because she wanted to be a singer, she ends up on MTV talking about the water wells and her career blew up,. then she was a top model and then she’s a host for entertainment news, the NFL Pro show. So the arts, no matter what and the belief system that you can do whatever you dream or desire, this is what I teach my clients of all ages. So many people have lost sight of their dreams. If we can nurture this in our children, our role as parents is to make sure our kids can launch after high school. My girls were both out on their own at 19, one in Santa Barbara, California, the other one in New York, and then she moves to LA for her career. That’s our goal as a parent to teach life skills, motivational mindset for success. So because I’m totally virtual now, I will work with kids 16 and up and I get a lot of parents giving me their kids age, 16 to 28 who are still at home, can’t find their way. I get it. I mean, I understand why these kids are anxious and depressed today, during Covid, they can’t go to college, they can’t see their friends. They’re on lockdown. There’s no jobs. I mean, it’s just a mess. So the most important thing is they still have the positive mindset for success and despite what’s going on around them in the world, that they stay focused on their own goals and dreams and keep moving forward. So there is a real skill to that, and that’s coaching is amazing for young people that are feeling stuck. [JOE] Well, Riana, the last question I always ask guests is if every private practitioner in the world were listening right now, what would you want them to know? [RIANA] Well, go for your dreams. I was only licensed mental health counselor in private practice. I went global. Actually, I am looking for mental health counselors and licensed social workers globally right now, bilingual would be amazing because my book is full. I need people to give leads to that would love to teach my trademark system in trauma. There’s so many people that need help globally and I can’t do it alone. My mission is to help change the way the world loves through education empowerment and conscious awareness. If you’re frustrated in private practice, I totally was the insurance model. They weren’t paying me, I was chasing my money, I was asking for a raise every year. They wouldn’t give me more than a $5 per hour or session raise in 17 years. I said, then you know what? I quit and I’m going to charge five times what I deserve because every year I have to increase my education. I have to do all this work and they were not compensating. So if you’re frustrated with that whole system, come learn to be a great coach in a done for you system. I really do need help. I love, love what I do. It’s amazing to change and transform lives, but I do need help. I can’t do it alone. [JOE] If people want to follow you or learn more about your work, what’s the best place to send them? [RIANA] Yes, the best place is to start at my website. It’s my name, rianamilne.com, R I A N A M I L N E.com. On there I have all kinds of free gifts, a free e-Book, How to Have the Love You Deserve, that goes more into this topic of healing childhood trauma. I have free love tests for singles and couples, free book chapter downloads of Live and Love Beyond Your Dreams and my podcast is Lessons in Life and Love with Coach Riana Milne. I have 113 shows and about 250 videos on my YouTube channel. So there’s lots of places where you can get some free education and check me out. [JOE] Awesome. We’ll have all those links in the show notes. Thank you so much for being on the Practice of the Practice podcast. [RIANA] Thank you, Joe for hosting me. Have a great day. [JOE] All right, so how are you going to take some action around what you learned today? Frequently I say our consumption of information is similar to our consumption of food. If you eat all the time and then you never take action, if you never move, if you never exercise, what good does that do? So you just consumed some information. What are you going to do with that? How are you going to take action for your own life, for your own practice, for your own business, for your own happiness? We also couldn’t do this show without our amazing sponsors this week. We have Level Up Week that is right around the corner. That is something that we are hosting this fall. Level Up Week is where we’re just pushing how do you level up? So if you are looking to go from just starting a practice and not getting any support, you can level up by joining Next Level Practice. If you’re in Next Level Practice, you’re going to level up into Group Practice Launch. If you’re in Group Practice Launch, you’re going to level up into Group Practice Boss. Maybe you’re ready to even level up past that. We have Audience Building Academy for people that are ready to grow things outside of their private practice. All of the details are right on the homepage over at practiceofthepractice.com, just right there above the fold. You’ll get all the details about Level Up Week coming this fall. Thanks so much for letting us into your ears and into your brain. Have a great day. I’ll talk to you soon. Special thanks to the band Silence is Sexy for your intro music. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, the producers, the publishers, or the guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical, or other professional information. If you want a professional, you should find one.