[SAM CARVALHO] Welcome to the Marketing a Practice podcast with me, Sam Carvalho, where you’ll discover everything you need to know about marketing and branding your business. To find out more about how I can help you brand new business visit www.practiceofthepractice.com/branding. If you’d like to see some examples of my design work, be sure to follow me on Instagram at Samantha Carvalho Design. So Ryane, what would you say causes so much fear, self-doubt, and overwhelm for high achieving women when trying to advance their professional dreams? [RYANE LECESNE] Well, one, women are human so let’s talk about some human statistics. 80% of our thoughts are fear-based thoughts as human beings, 80%, so that means for everyone thought you have, you’re going to have eight that are fear-based. 20% of your thoughts are going to be like power thoughts, like, do this, that’s great, this is brilliant. Then you’re going to have 80% that are like, don’t, that’s going to kill you. It’s going to be terrifying. I have a client who said that one of the things that I taught her, she’s a business owner, is that saying that she has a business out loud she won’t die from that. She literally felt emotionally. Now think about that because see, this is what the nervous system is supposed to do. The nervous system is supposed to translate the outside world, and it’s supposed to because we are living beings like any other animal, like a squirrel who perceives a car coming and it freezes for a second and then it runs away. That’s instinct, it’s body does that. So we have a body, we have a nervous system that does that too. We are not taught about our nervous system so we’re not in tuned with them, and yet they run the show. The nervous system perceives the world and we are no longer in the environment of a squirrel where a noise, it does still frighten us but that situation, we’re now outside like that. We are now in social situations where meaning, meaning, a squirrel’s life is threatened. My life is not threatened by a car coming, hitting me on the road, necessarily. My life, my nervous system, my reptilian brain, all of the limbic system, everything else, it’s going to kick in and feel the same exact things as that squirrel feels when I want to reach a goal. Like I’m going to raise my hand in this board meeting because I know that part of my goal is to catapult my career. In order to be able to do that, I need to be able to have my voice be heard. Or if it’s a business, I need to be able to call a prospective client and that terrifies me. Now, your nervous system doesn’t know that it’s, you’re not a squirrel that’s about to be hit by a car. Your nervous system says, this is terrible. This is not what you want. You do not want to do this. This is terrifying and it kicks in self-doubt. All of that, like literally happens to the nervous system. So we might be consciously saying, I’m fine, I’m fine. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, and yet the body has such a strong fear charge to it that it’s like, do not do this. If we’re not mindful enough and wedded enough to that goal, it’s very easy to close the laptop and say, I’m going to do this tomorrow. And when I say easy, it’s like easily painful. It’s really not easy. It’s not easy. Like, oh, clip, I’m going to close this and I’m just going to go about my day. It’s painful because it’s like, I’m going to close this because I’m terrified. I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know what to do. Now it’s so much more easy to get distracted. Now I can just sit in my fear. I can, I don’t, what do I do? If you are a solopreneur, you’re doing this on your own. So what do you do? Well, when we’re working together as a coach, one of the first things we talk about, and I’ll talk about some of the energies, is we’ve got to get clear, clarify, clarify, one, it’s unlocking your brilliance. One, we’ve got to get clear on what does that fear about? What’s happening? What is the fear saying? Because those words are the sweet nothings that your mind are telling you that you need to hear. My mind is telling me the exact things that I need to hear to keep my laptop closed. They’re going to be different than the things Sam, that you hear. Probably if we took a survey, if you took a hundred of us, well, 80% of us will say the same thing, that thing. But my mind says that all of the things that I marinated in as a child, all of my wounds all that comes out. And it’s unconscious. So clarity on that. But we also have to get really, really, really clear on what is your brilliance? What is your brilliance? Like, what is it that it’s probably, again, under nurtured, undervalued, and yet it’s you, it’s your brand? For me, I did not even know people would say, but I didn’t, and I still sometimes like don’t really know, like, wow, you changed. Like you, not you, I can’t change anyone’s life, but the message, the way that I package it, the way that I presented the teaching, I didn’t make any of this up, nor did anyone who’s talking about it is. Yet the work people say it’s changing lives and soif I stay hidden, I can’t help people. It’s about both. It’s about healing the things that terrify us, and it’s about shining our light. That’s the clarity. That’s also about number two, excuse me, which is courage. This is about reframing self-limiting beliefs. This is where that question of are you able to be your own best friend really becomes essential because the things that we say to ourselves oftentimes are very harsh. Again, I didn’t even realize that the things I say in between my ears are like not nice things. I don’t think, if you asked me, do you not talk kindly to yourself I would say no. That sounds crazy because I’m an optimistic person. I think I’m kind and gentle. But internally when I really dialed in, it was like a lot of chiding, a lot of judging, a lot of criticism and that would make sense if imposter syndrome, perfectionism, distraction are part of what I am here to overcome. Then the third piece is about confidence. That third piece is about prioritizing big, bold ideas. This is about becoming more linear and be, most, I think most probably, maybe not most, most of the ones that I see entrepreneurs have a some sense of creativity. There’s a birthing that they want to experience birth this idea. Sometimes that’s not very linear. Yet linear is so important in this physical world because it takes action for thoughts to be created into something. So we’ve got to, what is the priority? 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Remember, telehealth is included with every subscription free. Make 2022 the best year yet with Therapy Notes. [SAM CARVALHO] Awesome. Thanks so much for going through that and outlining that. That’s going to add a lot of value to our audience. So, Ryane, why would you say, does entrepreneurship cause so much fear in high achieving women? What can they do about it? [RYANE] I think it causes, I think, again, so much fear in people and specifically women because we, let me talk about people first and then overlay, I think some of the over-indexing of women, people want, because when you’re talking about entrepreneurship, you’re now talking about your livelihood coming from yourself. So that can induce a lot of fear in someone, like, how can I sustain this? How can I make this happen? Not just this month, but month for the rest of my life, perhaps? That can be very overwhelming in and of itself because you’re talking about your, again life plan. Number two for human being. It’s also, most of the time something that is unknown for someone they’ve never run a business before. So it is a whole different skillset. Now, overlay, just the over-indexing of women in general, not all, of course, we absolutely know that we are not monolith. Not all women are wives and mothers, and yet many, many, many, many, statistically, many, many, many, many are. Even if you’re not, if you’re a high achieving woman, you’re probably over-indexed in multiple, multiple, multiple ways. So there is an over-index factor that we, I think experience. Then there’s also so many of the statistical, some of the real, I think, what word do I want to use? Everything that comes up I don’t like, roadblock I don’t like, but there are, and yet there are real dynamics that women face that men don’t face. We are also coming from a history of marginalization that we bring with us to our businesses. So if we have a life of socialization where we’re taught to feel like we’re imposters, we are bringing that mindset into our business. We don’t just voila change because we have the title of entrepreneur. It’s like we’re bringing that, we often, many of us have been the only in our environments and so that breeds, those are breeding grounds for imposter syndrome and perfectionism. There have been beautiful articles written about how these mindsets are taught. They’re not things that we, I’m going to decide to be an imposter. This feels good for me, so I’m going to take this on. They’re like hyper focused in hyper indexed situations and so we carry that with us in our businesses. So what can we do? One, just like I shared this very openly, the story about looking for this diagnosis, I have been working with a coach from day one from my business, just literally about day one. I LCD in September. I’ve started with my coach that following February, and I’ve been with her for the last seven years. She has not made my business, nor have I made anyone’s business, who I work with. What I have done and what she has done for me is she has been my coach. Coaching has been because it is just me and my business, just me. What coaching has done for me as the coachee, as the client, because I can speak as both, as the client, it has helped me one, emotionally do the processing that coaching does, help me really with my mindset shift the things that I believed about myself that were standing in my way 100%, 100%. Two, my coaches are coaches in business and she’s very good at it so she has taught me how to learn business systems, which has been very, very helpful. Now, that meant I had to go learn them, which again, when I say teach, just like I’ve taught today clarity, confidence, and peace, now someone has to go figure that out but so it was a lot of work. The other thing that she helped me do is to really be almost like a staff member, a support system, a person I can brainstorm with and talk to. So if someone is out there and they are in business and they’re solo, I cannot advise enough support you enough to find a coach. That is not like sales proposition for me, because I certainly can’t coach everyone. I think everyone needs at least one coach. If you want to excel in any area, get yourself a coach. It’s like if you were 15 and you wanted to play soccer, you would have a coach. But at 43, and I want to start learn, I don’t know Chinese, I would make sense to get a coach. Why would I feel like I’d need to do that in isolation? As adults, we have this, again, socialized perception, belief, very strongly held belief that we must do things on our own as though there’s like some golden ticket at the end and there’s not. Beyonce, Oprah, Serena Williams, I mean, just go on and on and on, all of these people have coaches, every single one of them. They’re not shy about it. They have staff members, they pay people to tell them what to wear. Like, why do we, as sort of the general public feel, like we’ve got to do it on our own? Why, for what reason? No one, like other people aren’t so we don’t need to. The investment is in you, it’s in your business. [SAM] So Ryane, I believe that today you also have a free tool for the audience. Can you speak a bit into that and how people can go about accessing them? [RYANE] I do, I do. I actually have two, and they can be found at the same place. They’re for two different reasons. One is I have a, I think of like a Cosmo 17 magazine type of quiz that can help someone begin to, it’s not a diagnostic by any means, just a quick quiz for someone to tap into, which one of those three killer mindsets is their most dominant. For me, it is perfectionism, 100%. That’s just like my shadow. That tool is the quiz and then there’s also, if anyone out there is feeling like I would love to connect and have a call with this woman who’s been talking with Ryane I have a free discovery call, a complimentary discovery call that I would love to offer anyone. We’ll talk about where you would like to go with your career, with your business, what’s standing in your way, and how support can be supportive of you. Both the set of the quiz and the discovery call can be found at my website, which is www.inspirebrandconsulting.com and of course, on social media. IG and YouTube are where I continue the conversation. [SAM] Awesome. We’ll definitely have links to all of that in the show notes. Ryane, if every private practice owner in the world were listening right now, what would you want them to know? [RYANE] I would want them to know two things. One, that you’re not alone and that there is support. Please, please, please, I implore you to find a coach. Invest in that, invest in that. The second thing is spend the, I think about $15 for that Michael Gerber book, the E-Myth Revisited. No matter where you are in your business I think that this is a phenomenal resource to really help someone systemize their business and to adopt the persona of a small business owner. [SAM] Awesome. Again, we’ll also have that book linked in the show notes. Ryane, thank you so much for all the value that you’ve added today. It’s really been a great show. It’s been so good for me to hear, and I know the audience is going to get so much value out of it. So thanks for being a guest. [RYANE] Thanks, Sam, this was really fun. Thank you to your listeners. [SAM] Thanks again to Therapy Notes for sponsoring this episode. Remember to use the promo code, [JOE] that’s [J-O-E] to get three free months to try out Therapy Notes for free, no strings attached. Thanks for listening to the Marketing a Practice podcast. If you need help with branding your business, whether it be a new logo, rebrand, or you simply want some print flyer designed head on over to www.practiceofthepractice.com/branding. If you’d like to see some examples of my design work, be sure to follow me on Instagram at Samantha Carvalho Design. Finally, please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast on iTunes if you like what you’ve heard. Talk to you soon. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the publisher, or the guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical, or any other professional information. If you want a professional, you should find one.