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How do interrelated and regulated family relationships lead to deeper fulfillment for parents and families? How can parents protect kids from the downsides of screens and social media? What role does resilience at home play in raising confident kids?
In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks about how to be a better parent and find more fulfillment with WSJ best-selling author Jayson Gaddis.
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Meet Jayson Gaddis
In This Podcast
- Essentials for raising our daughters and sons today
- Delay screens and social media until they’re older
- Create safe environments for kids to develop resilience
- Finding fulfillment
- Jayson’s advice to private practitioners
Essentials for raising our daughters and sons today
I think these days, the social media conversation needs to happen very early, around screen [usage] and social media, because it’s most often girls – it seems like – that are hurt on social media, and then go into a lot of comparison, and it just fuels a fire of disconnection and, “I’m not okay as I am.” (Jayson Gaddis)
For Jayson, who has both a teenage daughter and a son, he emphasizes the importance of connection and strong interpersonal relationships throughout the family, as well as being cautious with screen time usage – especially for impressionable kids like teens.
He links the issue of unregulated screen time and social media issues in teens and young children with parental boundaries.
It’s about parents’ boundaries and prioritizing [family] connection first over screen time, and getting very good at that for many years. (Jayson Gaddis)
Delay screens and social media until they’re older
When you prioritize family connection in the household unit, people value and care for those relationships, which also means that there is both love and respect.
It is through having a stable household with stable, dependable relationships that you can allow your kids the chance to build their self-esteem, rather than being influenced by the insidiousness of social media.
This starts with the parents. If they are struggling, the first line of defence is broken, and the kids often get the short end of the stick if the parents are either not working as a team or having to carry the bulk of the weight on their own.
I think parents who are overwhelmed and busy and want a break, you know, the screen is a nice pacifier [for kids] where they don’t have to get child-care. So it’s understandable, but I just don’t like what I see out there in the world, and I just want to protect our kids. (Jayson Gaddis)
Kids need to learn how to approach the world, talk to people, and be curious about what’s around them. It becomes difficult for them to learn and practice these skills behind a screen whose usage is not being regulated by a regulated adult.
Create safe environments for kids to develop resilience
As all adults know, we don’t always get what we want, and it can be difficult. A child needs to experience that too for them to be able to handle rejection, develop a growth mindset, and build up their grit in the face of adversity and uncomfortable situations.
One way to do this is – healthily, safely, and lovingly – within the home.
I think in this day and age, there’s a lot of fragility, especially in privileged kids, to the point where they can’t do hard things, and the parents [always shield them] … A lot of parents are then tiptoeing around their kid’s emotions in the home, and then the kid’s emotions are running the house, which I think is a real problem. (Jayson Gaddis)
Instead of walking on eggshells around your kids’ emotions, encourage them to work hard, participate in the family life, do chores, and be responsible: all of this gives them a great shot at growing into a well-balanced and capable adult.
We make our kids do chores, we make them do hard, physical things, make them be on teams, and be physically active. You know, that kind of stuff … just getting comfortable with [and knowing], “I can handle hard things” because I think that develops a lot of self-confidence in young people. (Jayson Gaddis)
Finding fulfillment
Jayson is both an advocate and critic of people using psychedelic medicine. He’s an advocate because he has seen how transformative it can be in completely reframing your perspective.
However, Jayson has also seen how people engage in psychedelic medicines without taking any follow-up action, and are essentially just getting high and escaping their problems. To those folks, he wants them to go through therapy first.
Have really good pre- and post-work around what your intention is [with the psychedelics]. The post-work is like, “Cool, how are you going to implement this in your life, every day, for the rest of your life?” For example, with repair. How are you going to repair with your husband or wife effectively after this journey, now that you have seen that you have a block here? We need to see that your marriage actually improves in six months. (Jayson Gaddis)
It is through this intentional pre- and post-work that psychedelic insights can be implemented and assimilated into a person’s life, which culminates in fulfillment.
Jayson’s advice to private practitioners
Thank you! We’re in an intense time in the world right now, so I appreciate you living a life of service that is helping us to get more connected to ourselves and with each other.
Sponsors Mentioned in this episode:
- It’s no surprise 99% of businesses said the value they get for Gusto is worth the price. Here’s the best part: because you’re a listener, you get three months totally free. All you have to do is Click here!
- Find out more about the 7-Figure Practice Club!
Useful links mentioned in this episode:
- Check out our Practice Academy!
- Sign Up to the Group Practice Boss Conference!
- Visit Jayson’s website and connect on Instagram and LinkedIn. See also The Relationship School and Jayson’s podcast.
Check out these additional resources:
The Life After Loss Blueprint with Ashley Mielke | POP 1263
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Meet Joe Sanok
Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners who are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.
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