How to Break Up with Perfectionism For Good with Dr. Menije Boduryan | POP 769

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A photo of Dr. Menije Boduryan is captured. Dr. Menije Boduryan is a licensed psychologist and the founder of Embracing You Therapy Group Practice. Dr. Menije Boduryan is featured on Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

Are you a perfectionist? Does your perfectionism (truly) help or hinder you in life? How do you break up with and heal from perfectionism for good?

In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks about how to break up with perfectionism for good with Dr. Menije Boduryan.

Podcast Sponsor: Level Up Week

A photo of the Podcast, Sponsor Level Up Week, is captured. Level Up week sponsors the Practice of the Practice Podcast

You’re probably entering that phase where you start to set yourself up for 2023, you’re thinking about what your goals are gonna be, what you’re not going to do, and what you hope to achieve.

But regardless of where you are within your private practice journey, I’m challenging you to make these last few months count, to dig deep, and to make next year the one for big changes within your business – and more importantly – within yourself.

So if you’ve been looking for a sign to either start your own private practice, grow from solo to group, or become a next-level group practice boss, this is it…and you’re certainly not alone, because Practice of the Practice is doing something we’ve never done before.

We’re so convinced that now is the time for you to grow that we’re dedicating all our resources to help you do it. We’re all in. Every single one of us. And we’re inviting you to go all in and level up.

From September 12 to 15 we’ll be running ‘Level Up’ week to help you decide what will work best for you in your private practice journey. There will be webinars, Q&As with experts, and a chance for you to meet your accountability partners, facilitators, and community.

So if you’re ready to make a change and level up, register at practiceofthepractice.com/levelup and follow our Facebook and Instagram pages @practiceofthepractice for live updates and event details.

Make September 2022 the month that you start your journey and level up.

Meet Dr. Menije Boduryan

A photo of Dr Menije Boduryan is captured. She is a licensed psychologist and the founder of Embracing You Therapy Group Practice. Dr. Menije is featured on the Practice of the Practice.

Dr. Menije Boduryan is a licensed psychologist and the founder of Embracing You Therapy Group Practice. She specializes in using the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy model  (CBT) which looks at how our thoughts affect our emotions, which affect our behaviors.

One of the main focuses of CBT is to uncover underlying thoughts, attitudes, and belief systems clients may have that are unhealthy, negative, or rigid. Dr. Menije’s goal is to identify these unhealthy thought patterns and to find ways to challenge and reframe them.  In addition to addressing thoughts, she also explores behavioral changes to support new ways of thinking and at times uses these action goals to challenge clients’ thoughts.

Visit Embracing You Therapy Group Practice and connect with them on Instagram.

Connect with Dr. Boduryan on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Youtube.

FREEBIE: Visit Perfectionism University and access their free perfectionism resources!

In This Podcast

  • The source of creativity
  • Realign your values
  • Quick ways to address perfectionism in your life
  • Long-term changes in overcoming perfectionism
  • Dr. Boduryan’s advice to private practitioners

The source of creativity

I think with perfectionism there is a lot of overachieving and overdoing where there is a poor balance between work and personal life, and I think that is a significant issue because a lot of times our creativity is based on how rested we are. (Dr. Boduryan)

We often do our best and most effective work when we are rested because then we can see the situation for what it is instead of reacting purely out of stress or habit.

When you prioritize and schedule rest into your life, you will be able to live more authentically and mindfully because you will make decisions based on a calm and clear mind instead of a stressed and overworked one.

There’s this false idea that the more I do the more successful I’m going to be and I think there has to be a balance between knowing when it’s time to stop doing and [to] start enjoying our lives. (Dr. Boduryan)

Perfectionism is a trap because you think you are successful if you are busy but you are truly more successful when you are living authentically and true to your values while working.

Realign your values

A lot of society’s standards of success are built on scales of busyness. If you are overworked and burned out, you must be successful; this is not true.

Be careful not to live your life blindly and live your life by values that were predetermined by others.

From a very young age, a lot of our sense of self-esteem and sense of identity is wrapped around what we achieve and do and what we are not doing. (Dr. Boduryan)

Don’t confuse your goals with your values. Strive to achieve while knowing that your worth is not dependent on your success. State your values to live and work by them to remain in connection with what’s truly important to you.

Quick ways to address perfectionism in your life

Track your perfectionism.

Look at:

  • how you start your day
  • how you manage your to-do lists
  • your emotions like irritation or frustration
  • moments when you don’t feel peaceful, especially when it’s a simple moment

These little signals can help you to track when you are feeling overwhelmed and when your perfectionism is playing up. Breathe through it, and remind yourself to take aligned action instead of simply reacting.

Long-term changes in overcoming perfectionism

Quick tips and tricks can help you to handle and soothe your perfectionism initially, but over time when you want to fully break up with perfection, you need to make significant changes in how you approach yourself during moments of tension and stress.

When you are struggling with perfectionism, you really have a war within yourself, and that is honestly the best way that I can describe it … what happens to your mistakes, shortcomings, and flaws is that they are criticized, rejected, dismissed [and] shamed by you, sadly. (Dr. Boduryan)

You will need to learn how to practice self-acceptance and self-love.

Dr. Boduryan’s advice to private practitioners

Done is better than perfect. Put things out there, let them be imperfect, and let them grow and evolve.

Books mentioned in this episode:

Useful Links mentioned in this episode:

Check out these additional resources:

Meet Joe Sanok

A photo of Joe Sanok is displayed. Joe, private practice consultant, offers helpful advice for group practice owners to grow their private practice. His therapist podcast, Practice of the Practice, offers this advice.

Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners that are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.

Thanks For Listening!

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