“People pleasing is not your superpower!” with Christalyn Howard | GP 146

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"People pleasing is not your superpower!" with Christalyn Howard | GP 146

Do you have good intentions but then end up always putting yourself last? Have you been stuck in a people-pleasing cycle that is detrimental to you and the success of your business? Can you make yourself a priority without feeling guilty?

In this podcast episode, LaToya Smith speaks about the fact that people-pleasing is not your superpower with Christalyn Howard.

Podcast Sponsor: Therapy Notes

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Meet Christalyn Howard

A photo of Christalyn Howard is captured. She is a licensed professional counselor and group practice owner. Christalyn is featured on Grow a Group Practice, a therapist podcast.

Christalyn Howard is a Licensed Professional Counselor in South Carolina. Christalyn has 13 years of experience helping adults and adolescents improve their mental health. Since 2018 through her practice Carolina Counseling, Christalyn has supported women who silently suffer from overwhelming sadness, worry, stress, and fear. Through one-on-one Counseling, Mental Wellness Coaching, and Support Groups Christalyn empowers women to break free from the pressure to be perfect and please everyone so that they can confidently make decisions in their personal and professional lives to create the happiness and success they desire without feeling guilty.

Visit Carolina Counseling and connect on Facebook and Instagram.

FREEBIE: Free Affirmations Guide to Overcome Pleasers

In This Podcast

  • How people-pleasing can impact private practice owners
  • Unlearn grad school teachings
  • Your first steps
  • Do you want everybody to always be happy?

How people-pleasing can impact private practice owners

If you’re [people-pleasing as] the owner of the [group] practice, you’re not demonstrating what a healthy work lifestyle looks like.

Christalyn Howard

People-pleasing in private practice owners – and therapists in general – can look like this:

  • Taking on any type of clients, even if you do not have the direct experience or the desire to work well with them
  • Being too flexible in your schedule to make time for them
  • Being available for contact at all hours

This combination is a direct pathway to burnout.

Unlearn grad school teachings

The setup is, especially for those of us who left [grad] school and went straight into a government or agency job … you’ve got to see everybody, and [that] you have to help everyone, and I know that conditions us to have this need to please.

Christalyn Howard

The chances are that you didn’t know that you could be selective with your clients if you just took what grad school teaches therapists at face value, or went straight into an agency job.

You can structure your work-life balance as it suits you, and you can structure your business as it suits you too.

Be selective with your clients, not only because it makes you a better therapist to work with people that you feel comfortable and knowledgeable with, but also because it’s better for the success of your private practice!

Your first steps

1 – Add yourself to your to-do list, and put yourself into your schedule.

When you are planning your week, make sure to block out some time that’s dedicated just to you.

2 – Find an accountability partner.

Create a connection with a fellow therapist where you can encourage one another to stick to your priorities, one of which is yourself, and discuss when you may be struggling.

3 – Get your own therapist.

See a therapist for yourself and your personal development because your private life can impact your professional one.

What’s the why? What’s the reason why I do this? I’m adding myself to my schedule, and my calendar, so that I can have what I need to be able to show up for my clients … or my family.

Christalyn Howard

Do you want everybody to always be happy?

Do you put the near-impossible expectation on yourself to make sure that everyone around you is always happy?

Ask yourself: when did you get this power? Because it’s not possible – there is no way to control the happiness of everybody else.

Why in the world do I think that I’m able to control the mood of everyone else? I don’t have that kind of power. Those are the kind of hard questions I ask my clients, [and] those are the kind of hard questions I have to be intentional with asking myself.

Christalyn Howard

Useful links mentioned in this episode:

Check out these additional resources:

Meet LaToya Smith

An image of LaToya Smith is captured. She is a consultant with Practice of the Practice and the owner of LCS Counseling. LaToya is featured on the Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

LaToya is a consultant with Practice of the Practice and the owner of LCS Counseling and Consulting Agency in Fortworth Texas. She firmly believes that people don’t have to remain stuck in their pain or the place they became wounded. In addition to this, LaToya encourages her clients to be active in their treatment and work towards their desired outcome.

She has also launched Strong Witness which is a platform designed to connect, transform, and heal communities through the power of storytelling.

Visit LaToya’s website. Connect with her on FacebookInstagramStrong Witness Instagram, and Twitter.

Apply to work with LaToya.

Email her at [email protected]