Skip to content
Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed
What happens when old attachment wounds start driving the train in your relationships? How can understanding your attachment style help you rebuild trust, communication, and connection with your partner? What does it take to turn therapy tools into lasting change inside a marriage?
In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks about rebuilding a marriage with integrated attachment theory with Bryan Power.
Podcast Sponsor: Headway
I want to thank Headway for sponsoring this episode. If you run a group practice, you know that accepting insurance can be overwhelming. Between credentialing, billing, and payroll, the admin side can easily take over your week. Headway was built to help you handle this — and they’re the only platform designed specifically for in-network group practices.
Whether you’re growing your team or running an established practice, Headway makes the business side easier with faster credentialing, higher per-session rates, and biweekly payments your team can count on.
They work with therapy, psychiatric, and hybrid groups — and there are no subscription fees. Just the support you need to run your practice with ease.
Run your best group practice with Headway — trusted by thousands of group practice leaders to simplify insurance admin and reach more people through in-network care.
Curious how Headway can work for you?
Meet Bryan Power
Bryan Power is the founder of My Relationship Fail, where he turns his personal story of crisis—culminating in a restraining order with his then-partner—into a powerful lesson in healing and connection.
Drawing on his training in Integrated Attachment Theory (IAT), Bryan guides individuals and couples through the six core elements of attachment work: wounds, needs, emotions, boundaries, communication, and behaviour—helping them move from breakdown to breakthrough.
Visit Bryan’s website and connect on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
In This Podcast
-
How integrated attachment theory helped a marriage
-
The four different attachment styles
-
Using therapeutic tools to save a marriage
-
Bryan’s advice to private practitioners
How integrated attachment theory helped a marriage
Integrated attachment theory functions on six core elements:
1 – Core wounds
2 – Needs
3 – Emotions
4 – Boundaries
5 – Communication
6 – Behaviors
When I started looking at all those six different things, I realized how much I lack in a lot of those areas and [that] I really needed some work on those things. (Bryan Power)
In therapy, using this theory and these six aspects was a tool that Bryan used to really understand where he needed to place additional focus, support, and awareness within himself to strengthen the relationship he has with his wife.
The four different attachment styles
Everyone knows the avoidant and codependent attachment styles, but they go deeper, and there are two more to know about:
1 – Secure: the more balanced style that people are working towards, with good communication and emotional awareness, health, and availability
2 – Anxious preoccupied: They are outgoing and fun and crave connection, but can take it to an unhealthy, codependent extreme
3 – Dismissive avoidant: They are independent and value space, but in their extreme form can withdraw from everyone and avoid sometimes necessary emotional work with others
4 – Fearful avoidant: This person swings between the anxious side and the avoidant side
Our core wounds can push us into different types of attachment styles, and if we are not aware of them, they can cause havoc in our personal and even professional lives.
Until you really learn what’s going on there with these things, it causes us to go from having loving relationships where we want to love each other … we want healthy relationships, but these core wounds start driving the train into a train wreck, and all of a sudden we wake up one day and go, “What happened to our relationship?” (Bryan Power)
Using therapeutic tools to save a marriage
It was integrated attachment theory and all of its different tools that Bryan and his wife used to completely change their marriage for the better.
They learned much more about who they are, what makes them tick, and how they can build a life together that is informed by the past and an intentional effort to build a better present and future.
Some of these tools include:
- Going through therapy workbooks
- Journaling to put feelings and thoughts into words
- Learning how to fulfill some of one’s needs rather than always looking to someone else
- Practicing accepting emotions without judgment
[Use] emotions more as information. Emotions are really not bad things, it’s really just, “What are the emotions telling me? What are the thoughts behind [them] that are causing me to feel that heightened emotional state? And is it true? … Is that a true thought?” And then when I realize it’s not, then I can say, “Okay, let’s break that down, let’s not go there, let’s develop some different patterns.” (Bryan Power)
- Working on changing patterns, behaviors, and ways of coping with stress and dysregulated emotions
Bryan’s advice to private practitioners
Thank you! Thank you for the work that you do for people around you, in your communities, and throughout the world at large.
Sponsors Mentioned in this Episode:
Curious how Headway can work for you?
Useful links mentioned in this episode:
- Check out our Practice Academy!
- Visit Bryan’s website and connect on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
- Sign Up to the Group Practice Boss Conference!
Check out these additional resources:
Events – click on the event’s dropdown
Sign up to join the free webinars and events here
Practice of the Practice Podcast Network
Free resources to help you start, grow, and scale
Apply to work with us — a decision-making matrix for your next steps
Meet Joe Sanok
Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners who are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.
Thanks For Listening!
Feel free to leave a comment below or share the social media below!