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What is the real secret sauce to high performance? How can you balance success, achievement, and fulfilment both inside and outside of the office? Is it possible to train your brain to handle stress, success, and joy?
In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks about mental workouts and the art of prioritization with Dr. Jason Selk.
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Meet Dr. Jason Selk

Dr. Jason Selk is a leading performance coach and mental toughness expert who has worked with elite athletes, Olympians, and Fortune 500 executives. As the former Director of Mental Training for the St. Louis Cardinals, he contributed to their 2006 and 2011 World Series wins.
He holds a doctorate in counseling and sport psychology and is the author of several best-selling books, including 10-Minute Toughness and Relentless Solution Focus. Dr. Selk also co-founded the Level Up app, a digital coaching platform, and continues to shape the fields of sports and business performance.
Visit Dr. Selk’s website and connect on Facebook and Instagram.
In This Podcast
- Be careful with success
- Consider Dr. Selk’s “Reward and Relish” system
- Don’t move the goalposts and how to be joyful
- The art of prioritization
- Dr. Jason Selk’s advice to private practitioners
Be careful with success
Dr. Selk explains that when the team he was coaching won the World Series for a second time, the overwhelming feeling he felt was relief, not joy, not celebration. He explains how this darker side of success needs to be treated carefully.
I think it’s really easy for people to get so caught up in performance and success that we lose sight of. I learned something very valuable, and it took me a long time to figure it out, but winning without improving health and happiness isn’t winning, it’s losing. (Dr. Jason Selk)
According to Jason, you only win at the highest level when you experience joy and improved health, and happiness with whatever endeavor you are putting your energy into. This can be done with the right direction and mindset.
Winning for winning’s sake is not genuine.
Consider Dr. Selk’s “Reward and Relish” system
Of the two, reward, which people hear about all the time, isn’t what I found to be the most important part. It was the relish. (Dr. Jason Selk)
Set up your reward system not based on results, but on relish.
On how much you enjoy and experience the situation fully and in the moment.
When you relish something, as Jason explains, it is essentially a 60-second, powerful moment of consciousness of the success you are having right then and there, and the fact that you deserve it. There is no room for self-criticism.
[In the relishing moment] there is no room for criticizing, there is only room for forcing myself for just a moment, to, once a week, realize that I’m doing some good things, and that I am working at making them happen. That’s a really good thing. (Dr. Jason Selk)
You have to permit yourself to celebrate your wins because if we don’t, and when we sometimes lose, which we will, we eat ourselves up.
Make time for reflection and improvement, and make time for celebration and relishing your progress so far, and the wins when they come.
Don’t move the goalposts and how to be joyful
The research from Harvard shows that happy people win more, whether it is in baseball, weight loss, or returns on investments.
So, this whole idea of, “You want to work yourself to the point where you are not enjoying what you do and you’re almost hurting yourself, you’re not ever really celebrating; there’s no empirical evidence that actually causes you to win more. But there is great empirical evidence … that happy people win more often. (Dr. Jason Selk)
If you are grinding yourself to the bone with working harder and harder, more and more, without ever taking a moment to appreciate how far you have come or what you have accomplished, your candle wick will burn out fast.
The art of prioritization
Mental toughness, according to Jason, is best described as the attentional focus that you use to focus on productive thoughts while under pressure. That’s it.
Human brains are more easily wired to focus on the “wrong” things and stress you out so that you escape, run, or get away quicker.
However, if you want to train your brain to have mental toughness and resilience, you need to teach it how to stay calm, positive, and constructive under pressure.
You’re going to have to train for mental toughness; it’s not just a pep talk. Most people in my field still look at mental toughness as a pep talk, and I never have … The brain is not built to do and think the right way … You have to do the exercises, the training, that will make the bicep able to respond. The same is true for your brain. (Dr. Jason Selk)
With proper mental training, we can train the correct focus points to go back to whenever we are under pressure.
Dr. Jason Selk’s advice to private practitioners
Remember: it is the relationship that heals.
Books mentioned in this episode:
Dr. Jason Selk – Relentless Solution Focus: Train Your Mind to Conquer Stress, Pressure, and Underperformance
Dr. Jason Selk – Organize Tomorrow Today: 8 Ways to Retrain Your Mind to Optimize Performance at Work and in Life
Dr. Jason Selk – Executive Toughness: The Mental-Training Program to Increase Your Leadership Performance
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Useful links mentioned in this episode:
- Visit Dr. Selk’s website and connect on Facebook and Instagram.
Check out these additional resources:
Productivity: The Future of Brain Health with Dr. Sabina Brennan | POP 1216
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Meet Joe Sanok

Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners who are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.
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Podcast Transcription
Joe Sanok 00:00:00 We all know how tough it can be to collect supervision hours. That's why my friend and fellow therapist, Rachel, created motivo making clinical supervision easy and accessible with over 1200 vetted supervisors nationwide. I know you'll be able to find a supervisor that's right for you. Get started today at Motivo health. That's my health. This is the practice of the Practice podcast with Joe. Session number 1217. I'm Joe San. I'm your host. And welcome to the practice of the Practice podcast. I am so excited to have you here today. You know, we help you build a thriving private practice that you absolutely love. We want that side of thriving, of doing well, of, you know, having good operations and marketing and systems. but we also want you to love it. there's so many ways in the world to make money. We want you to go after the things that you're excited about, the impact you want to make, and to be able to say, I can't believe this is my practice. Joe Sanok 00:01:15 So we do that all the time in our membership communities. We do that in our consulting. We do it through this podcast. you're going to be noticing we're shifting a little bit of how we're doing the scheduling with the podcast. In the past, we would do a series and it would be like three weeks in a row on marketing or three weeks in a row. And just like better brains, we'd have a bunch of amazing speakers, and we're shifting it a little bit because, we want to have, say, like Mondays be a theme and Tuesdays be a theme, Wednesdays be a theme, and then have that series go for, you know, 8 to 12 weeks. that makes it the, you know, if you're not into a certain series, you know, you aren't just lost for a month or two. and so you'll notice that this high performance mindset series that's coming out, we have some amazing people. I mean, when I look ahead at this schedule of people that I've already interviewed. Joe Sanok 00:02:01 let's just take, like, Akshay Nanavati. Akshay and I talked yesterday. this is going to kind of go live in a couple of weeks. he recently, tried to go across Antarctica on skis and got 500 miles in. Wasn't able to, but he wrote a book about it. and wrote a book about some of his approaches. And the Dalai Lama has said this is a book worth reading. so we're finding these just amazing people who have done really amazing things. But as I talk to them, they're just regular people that think through the world that want to make an impact and that we can learn some lessons from for our own individual lives and for our businesses. Which brings me to Jason Silk. Jason is with us today, and he was serving as the director of sports psychology for the Saint Louis Cardinals. Doctor Salk helped the team win their first World Series in over 20 years, and in 2011, he assisted the Cardinals in the historic feat of winning their second World Championship in a six year period. Joe Sanok 00:02:55 Over the last 20 years, Doctor Salk has written five bestselling books and has become widely acclaimed as one of the most sought after keynote speakers in the country. Doctor silk captivates audiences with simple messages combining science and real life success stories, teaching audiences the most up to date and effective models of winning at the highest level. Jason, welcome to the practice of the Practice podcast. Jason Selk 00:03:17 Joe, it's a pleasure to be with you. Joe Sanok 00:03:18 Oh, man, this is awesome. Well, I got to start with, you know, you know, World Series, like, what is it like to to be there with people you've been working with and have them win the World Series? Jason Selk 00:03:28 You know, it's really the right question to be asking, but you're probably not going to love the response. But I think it's a really important story to hear. I'm gonna kind of tell you a story of my experience. So 2006, it's my first year with the team. The team hadn't won a World Series in 24 years, and we're in the World Series. Jason Selk 00:03:49 We're heavy underdogs all the way through. In fact, we still to this day, we are the lowest win total regular season team to ever win a World Series. We had no business winning that World Series, okay, but a lot of things came together for us. Game. We ended up beating the Detroit Tigers in five games. Game four. I'm down at the stadium, watching the game, and they put me in between the former mayor and the mayor, the current mayor. And during the game, these two politicians were telling me all game long how I needed to be doing my job. And it was a nightmare. I mean, the only good thing was we won the game and I could tell that we were in really good shape to win the series because Detroit wasn't handling the pressure. I think they had eight errors in the five games. It really helped us win the games as much as we won those games anyway. Game five I decided to watch the game at my home in Saint Louis, and at the time I had, it was 2006. Jason Selk 00:04:51 I had a four year old, a two year old, and an eight month old, and the whole family. Joe Sanok 00:04:57 Was Is full. Jason Selk 00:04:58 In the master bedroom on the bed. And, you know, I think game time is 7:10 p.m. by 8:00. Everybody's asleep. Anyway, the Cardinals go on. We win game five. We win the World Series in five games. And this is the part that I think is really important for high performers and people working with high performers. And frankly, anyone trying to be a high performer needs to be sensitive to. I remember we we win the game, everybody's asleep, and I just quietly get out of the bed. And I walked down to the bathroom and I put my hands on the counter, and I look at myself in the mirror. And Joe, I experienced absolutely no joy whatsoever, only relief. And I knew that there was something dramatically wrong. You know, I, I would have liked to have said, you know, when you asked me about the story and yeah, I went down to the stadium and we were popping champagne and it was the most enjoyable. Jason Selk 00:06:00 But I think it's really easy for people to get so caught up in performance and success that we lose sight of it. And I learned something very, very valuable, and it took me a long time to figure out how to help myself as well as other people. But I feel like I've made great progress on this. But winning without improving health and happiness isn't winning, it's losing. And it may sound somewhat trite, but I would just tell you somebody that's been there and that's that's literally in my field winning at the highest level. You're supposed to experience joy and improved health and happiness with whatever endeavor you're putting your energy into, and it can be done. That's the most important part. With the right direction and the right work, it can be done. Joe Sanok 00:06:58 Winning without health and happiness isn't winning. I love that it's losing. Jason Selk 00:07:02 Make sure you get. Joe Sanok 00:07:02 The oh, he's losing. It's losing. Jason Selk 00:07:04 Because. Joe Sanok 00:07:05 That's why I'm reflecting it back. So I get it right. Jason Selk 00:07:07 Yeah. And most people, you know that that maybe haven't been a part of something like that. Jason Selk 00:07:13 Maybe like, you know, media coverage and something of that nature might think, oh, come on, that's not true. I would, I would think that it was enjoyable. Listen, this is very common. It wasn't me. I was just thankfully in a position where I could recognize it in my own life and then recognize there are a lot of people going to come to me wanting the help, winning their equivalent of the World Series. And if I don't know how to teach it to myself, I'm going to be no good helping others. And that's not help. Again, that's that's losing. So I think it would be remiss of me not to say, okay, then what what do you have to do? What was the piece of the equation you missed. And I wish it was really simple and really easy. But it's difficult. It's what I call reward and relish. And let me just real quick explain both and of the two reward which people hear about all the time. Reward isn't what I found to be the most important part. Jason Selk 00:08:14 It was the relish. Okay, now let me explain. I would encourage you to set up a reward system, not for results. See, winning the World Series is supposed to have a natural effect of reward itself. I miss the true reward system. Should have been on the process or the work required to achieve the desired results. So I would encourage people always have one activity weekly. It's called the process goal. That is your most important activity that will cause success the success you're looking for. So for example my number one process goal is something I call 100% intensity 100% of the time. And it really is. And I know how to measure it. I know it sounds a little bit loose, but it's actually not for me. I don't want to get into the details. I don't want to take too much time. But it's a very measurable process that every counseling, every coaching session I have, I can measure if my intensity was where it needed to be. And for me, I'm not giving myself permission to be anything less than 100% on those coaching counseling calls. Jason Selk 00:09:25 Now, if I can nail that for a week, and I usually tell people, if you can just go 90% for the week on that one most important activity, you want to have a reward in place. It could be something as simple as I, you know, I live in Miami and there's an ice cream shop right down the street. It's a nice little walk and I can sit outside and watch the circus go by. I give myself permission to go have I can have ten scoops of ice cream if I wanted. That's not just at least one. I got to sit there and I don't even have to eat the whole thing if I don't want to, but I got to go do it. And that gives me the opportunity to relish. And this is the piece that I've found made the real difference for me, and for a lot of other people that I work with. Relish is a 62nd moment of consciousness, of the success you're having and the fact that you deserve it. There's no room whatsoever in this relish moment for you being self-critical, all that perfectionism and all that garbage that we all like to buy into. Jason Selk 00:10:37 At times that doesn't get to be a part of this relish. You don't get to say, yeah, but at all. It's only let me look at the ways that I'm winning. And I usually look okay at my career. What are some of the wins this week in my career? I look at my relationship with my family. I look at my relationship with myself. What are some of the wins that I'm seeing in terms of my own health, and in terms of the health of my relationships? And what am I doing to deserve it? Not. What am I not doing? Again, there's no room for critical here, but only forcing myself. And it's just a moment. But it's a very important moment of consciousness that once a week I forced myself to realize, look, I'm doing some really good things and I'm working at making it happen, and that's a really good thing. And I'll kind of fast forward and give you some closure on this. So I get hired by SMU football team two years ago and all this previous year we had a really, really great year. Jason Selk 00:11:37 But two years ago we had, at that point in time, arguably the best year in program history as well. They hadn't won an AA championship two years ago. They were in the AA, a very small conference compared to the ACC where they are now. They hadn't won that conference in 40 years. Well, we end up winning it last year. It's my first year with the team. And if you look at the comparison of winning a World Series with a major league team and winning an Arc championship, it's not so comparable. I mean, one is obviously a bit bigger than the other, but I will tell you when SMU, when we won that AAC, I flipped over a ping pong table. I screamed so loud I lost my voice. I did a shot at tequila. I'm not endorsing drinking or any of that for the celebration. I'm just saying I experienced a pure joy that was almost embarrassing to the people around me. I was like, wow, this guy is really losing it. Jason Selk 00:12:40 It's not that big of a deal. But you know what? When you work your tail off at something and you do see some results. Speaker 3 00:12:47 It is a big deal. Jason Selk 00:12:48 And you have to give your your self permission to celebrate the wins. Otherwise, when we do lose, which we will, it'll eat us up. Joe Sanok 00:12:58 I love the relish side of that, because I feel like high achievers so often they achieve something. And then it's like before they're even almost done with it. They're like, what's the next goal? How do I outdo this. And you know, the goalposts of success continue to move. was it that World Series moment that made you kind of adjust that, or were there other things that you weren't relishing also? Jason Selk 00:13:21 You know, it was it was the World Series experience that no joy, but only relief was really eye opening for me. And then as I started to look into, you're right, this, you know, the goalposts always moving. You know, you hear the stories of Urban Meyer. Jason Selk 00:13:39 He's winning. He wins a national championship at Florida. And the team's still out on the field celebrating. And he's in making recruiting calls for the next year. And you look at that. And there's a level of respect and integrity that goes with that, and almost to a point where we feel like that's how it's supposed to be, and you have to be really cautious of that. And so I was looking for research. You know, I like anecdotal evidence, but I am just purely about research. And there's this really strong body of research out of Harvard, which I know we can trust those folks. Happy people win more, whether it be in baseball, whether it be in weight loss, whether it be in improving return on investment, with sales, it doesn't matter. Happy people win more. And so this whole idea of you want to work yourself to a point and you're not enjoying, you're working so hard, you're almost hurting yourself and you're not really ever celebrating. There's no empirical evidence that that actually causes you to win more. Jason Selk 00:14:47 But there is great empirical evidence. And I like, you know, empirical is just a fancy word for real life. I don't care what you can prove on paper or in a lab. I want to know what really works. This research. You cannot argue with it. And it's something. You know. The teams I work with now. Auburn baseball is a great example. We just swept the number three team in the country, and the guys were having so much fun doing it again. I think people might look at it and be a little bit like, oh fellas, come on, you're playing a game here. It's supposed to be a little more serious. And I tell them just the opposite. Hey, fellas, this is a game I want you to have as much fun with it as possible. And it runs true to form and research. Happy people win more often. Joe Sanok 00:15:32 It reminds me of the Savannah bananas, which is a, like, minor league baseball team. And, literally, you know, for this minor league baseball team, the owner, you know, has the guys do choreographed dancing as part of the training before they even get hired on the team. Joe Sanok 00:15:49 And it's like they do all these things And it's like for him it's like, how do we make baseball just this fun, lighthearted thing? And I don't know what their record is, but, you know, I imagine that team feels more connected and probably does better and wins more based on this research than if, you know, they were just these struggling minor league players that were just mad at the world. Jason Selk 00:16:11 Well, here might be my only take on that. You know, and I'm old school. I'm a Cedar Rapids, Iowa boy. And so, you know, choreographing, dancing and so forth is not really in my playbook. I say this, you know, again, we know happy people win more often, but if we're putting so much energy into being happy that we're not allowing ourselves the energy necessary to compete at the highest level, that's where I think you got to push that fine line, because no doubt about it, to win a World Series, to win an a C championship, to win at any real extensive level, you must. Jason Selk 00:16:46 You must. But the preparation is doesn't matter how happy you are if you're not doing the work. That's what we're going to run into trouble. And that's why you want to do reward and relish based on getting the work done. If you're doing the most important work. Daily. Weekly. Celebrate. Reward. Relish. Joe Sanok 00:17:06 Love it. As a therapist, I can tell you from experience that having the right EHR is an absolute lifeline. I recommend using therapy notes. They make billing, scheduling, note taking, telehealth, and e-prescribing incredibly easy. Best of all, they offer live telephone support that's available seven days a week. You don't have to take my word for it. Do your own research and see for yourself. Therapy notes is the number one highest rated EHR system available today, with a 4.9 out of five stars on Trustpilot and on Google. All you have to do is click the link below or type promo code Joe on their website over at Therapy Notes. Com and receive a special two month trial. Joe Sanok 00:17:57 Absolutely free. Again that's therapy notes. Com and use promo code Joe on the website. If you're coming from another EHR therapy notes will also import your demographic data quick and easy at no cost, so you can get started right away. Trust me. Don't waste any more of your time and try therapy notes. Just use promo code Joe at checkout. Now, you've spoken a ton about kind of the power of focus and achieving peak performance, and how athletes that train their minds to to maintain focus during stressful moments in the midst of challenging competitions, things like that. Talk more about that power of focus, and then maybe we can extract some ideas that we can pull into the work that we're doing in our counseling world. Jason Selk 00:18:42 Yeah. So there's there's, you know, you're getting me excited now. Okay. All right. Good. The rubber hits the road, in my opinion. Now let me say I try to be succinct with this. First and foremost, mental toughness, attentional focus. It's not intentional. Jason Selk 00:19:00 It's actually called attentional at but. Mental toughness or attentional focus. And I would just say attentional focus is focusing. Focusing on productive thoughts while under pressure. I feel like that's really if you want to try to summarize what mental toughness is. That's it. Our brains aren't built to do that. Our brains are built to actually focus on the wrong things, to have the wrong or inappropriate attentional focus. For example, is this thing in our brains called problem centric thought? It is the biological tendency to focus on the negative. Now, hundreds of years ago, PKT actually was necessary for the advancement or survival of the species when we lived in a very, very unsafe times. Our brains were built this way biologically to keep our species alive, that we're always aware of the potential threats. And not only are we aware of it initially, but our brain circles back to it. Something in our brain called the caudate. It loops us back. So, you know, think back hundreds of years ago, you're maybe out in the wilderness with your family and you're trying to build a shelter and you've got a, you know, a raging river behind you, and you've got lions, tigers and bears out in front of you, and you and your spouse are trying to put together a shelter for the children. Jason Selk 00:20:23 And your brain thinks, okay, you got the raging river. My kids can swim, but they're not great swimmers. So I've got to be sensitive to the river. And are there lions, tigers or bears out there? And all the while, you know, my my spouse is maybe bringing wood over and I'm trying to put the wood together in a way to formulate a shelter. But my brain won't allow itself to only purely focus on building the shelter, So I might, you know, hammer a stick or two into the ground, and then my brain thinks back to the river. Lions. Tigers. Bears. That's that. It forces us to lose. Now, the issue with that is now we live in a very safe time. And although it was really helpful for the survival of the species hundreds of years ago, right now it's very counterproductive for high level performance because that what you focus on expands. That's expectancy theory. If I focus on all the things that could go wrong. Think about a golfer. Jason Selk 00:21:19 If I'm thinking, ooh, I could hit it in the drink or don't slice. I mean, don't slice is like thinking. Don't think about a pink elephant with blue running shoes. If somebody says, don't think about a pink elephant and blue running shoes, inevitably you think about some form or fashion. The pink elephant with weird blue running shoes. So the brain is built actually to lose focus on high performance or attentional the appropriate or effective thoughts for high performance. Now, if you're going to overcome that biology which we can, you want to be sensitive to a couple of things. Number one, you must realize you're going to have to train for mental toughness. It is not a pep talk. And this is where most people, and I even feel like most people in my field, they really still look at mental training or, excuse me, mental toughness as a pep talk. And I never have, thankfully. I mean, I think I learned enough about the brain as I was working through my doctorate that I realized, okay, the brain's not built to do to think the right way under performance conditions. Jason Selk 00:22:31 So just like your bicep, if you want the bicep to be strong, you got to do the exercises, the training that will make the bicep able to actually respond and be strong. Same is true for your brain. With proper mental training. We can train the right focus points. We can find the attentional focus and make it so that it's easier, more natural. Under pressure. Under performance conditions, to maintain those attentional thoughts. Now I created something and I did this in my first book. And I think it's really the reason I had such great success right off the bat as a sports psychologist is this thing called the mental workout. And I won't go into the details of it. But for the professional athlete, it was a three minute training process where you use five steps long, and if you go through the five steps, you really can't stop the brain from having more of that attentional focus. So the first piece I want you to be sensitive to in the listeners is mental toughness is not a pep talk. Jason Selk 00:23:36 It requires training's neuroplasticity. We can actually change the patterning of what's normal in our brains. The second piece and this goes to attentional focus. You think. Okay. And this is I think where people in the business world and in real life are making major mistakes. And it's also happening in the sports world. We're trying to focus on so many things that we're unable to actually focus on the most important things. You've heard people talk about prioritizing your actions, prioritizing your thoughts, doing what's most important. Most people don't know how many things we can actually prioritize from a mental standpoint. And there is a real science on this. It's called channel capacity. It's the science of the biological bandwidth of the human brain and the magic numbers. And people are like this, but the magic numbers with channel capacity are three and one, meaning I can keep in working memory. So think about that attentional focus if I'm How you know, whether it be trying to compete through a round of golf. If I'm a pitcher and I'm trying to work through get through the first five innings of a game. Jason Selk 00:24:56 If I'm a quarterback and I'm trying to lead my team to a victory, if I'm out there trying to perform and I have more than three focus points in that attentional focus, I'm going to overload channel capacity. And when we overload channel capacity, we lose focus completely. I want to give you an analogy. It's a bit like juggling. I can juggle, I can actually juggle three balls. I'm not a great juggler, but I can juggle three balls. But Joe, if you threw me a fourth one in, I promise you I'm going to drop all. Joe Sanok 00:25:29 In the same way. I learned to juggle when I was a kid, and it's like I never got to four, but. And it's like I can impress my daughters for about two minutes. Jason Selk 00:25:38 Well, and think about how many people, how many times a day are you trying to hold more than four Concepts in your mind at once. And you know, here's the perfect example of when, you know you've overloaded channel capacity. Have you ever forgotten something Joe. Joe Sanok 00:25:55 Oh many a time. Jason Selk 00:25:56 Have you ever forgotten something that you thought. There's no way I can forget this. I don't need to write it down. It's just way important. Of course. And with these phones these days and with the media, everybody is overloading channel capacity. So back to the answer to the question, which I know it's really getting long now. Mental toughness must be trained. And you must respect channel capacity with attentional focus in the training, in your training and that mental workout. And this is why when I work with people, you know, there's tools like performance statements and the performance statement is during performance, what are you at most. And you don't need to get all three. But people just really struggle even keeping it at three. But what are your three most important focus points. So a picture might say weight back arm on top, Pound down. It's actually a silent picture from when I was with the Cardinals. And if he can, just, when he's out there, not let himself focus on the scoreboard or the necessarily the person he's up against and what the guy did to him last time out or some of the stuff going on at home, but instead, if he can just think weight back, arm on top, pound down, and then if in his mental training he's training his mind to only focus on those 2 or 3 items during performance, that's when you see people start to rise to the top and start to have that mental advantage over the competition. Joe Sanok 00:27:21 How does that interact with like I'm thinking about like the power of habit. You know where it's like you know if this person is training so much where they then almost intuitively now those three things are just part of one gesture is having things be a habit either as a team or as an individual. Does that then allow for more of that capacity for other things to come in? Jason Selk 00:27:42 No. And that's where people really try to cheat channel capacity. That's where you kind of get that perfectionist mentality. And as you said, you're moving the goalposts and that's a big mistake. You say so like I try to give you an example. One of the things again honoring channel capacity, it's a little bit different than the mental training we're talking about. It's more of just what behaviors how many actions can on a daily basis, I really be focused on, you know, and most people will start their day with a to do list of 15 things. And what they'll typically do is they'll look at the 15 and they'll say, okay, there's there's four or 5 or 6 that are really easy. Jason Selk 00:28:18 I can just check those off early and get them done. And then what happens is a person starts with the easy stuff but never gets the important stuff done. And that's, again, that's really that skill of prioritizing this time instead of thought, it's prioritizing actions. So instead of allowing people to do that, what I do with all my clients say it's okay to have 15 items on your to do list. But before you start checking anything off, I want you to pick your three. Most important. And of the three, what's the one? And the first 30 minutes of the day. You can't work on anything other than those three. Most important. And if you get those three most important done, which most people, they can get the three most important done, usually between 45 and 55 minutes. Then you can pick another three and chip away at it, but get three things done in any one given day. But they're your three most important things you will find, especially over extended periods of time. Jason Selk 00:29:20 You'll be so much more advanced if you're working the other side of that to do list. I'm getting ten things done, but none of them are my three. Most important. The three most important will trump the ten lesser important. Stephen Covey talked about this the urgent versus the important. I love this quote. He said the noise of the urgent creates the illusion of importance. But anyway, I think back to answer your question. If we if we want to form habits, the best way to do it is to really respect channel capacity and honour those numbers of three and one, because we can consistently be focused on three and one over time. And it makes it easier to form habits. It's when I'm trying to do all this stuff and I'm trying to think about all those different things. It's really hard to form a positive habit because it's shifting so much. And a major piece, probably the single most major piece of habit formation is repetition and reinforcement, meaning you have to repeat the activity, but then the activity has to reinforce itself with the desired result. Jason Selk 00:30:32 And if we're shifting different actions daily and we're shifting different ways of thinking or attentional focus, it's going to be really, really difficult to get any real sense of repetition, and you're going to see that the results are going to suffer as well. Joe Sanok 00:30:48 I know we only have a couple of minutes left. the one of the last questions I have is what does this look like in your own life? Like what are your either daily, weekly, quarterly habits? How do you apply this personally? Jason Selk 00:30:59 So I feel like I'm a master of channel capacity. I think it has really, really served me well in life. I've taught all my children. I noticed, you know, you've written a book about, a four day workweek. I love that that I guarantee you your. I haven't read the book, but I guarantee in your research, in your writing, you're using channel capacity. You may not have known the name or the science necessarily, but you're teaching people that you can actually do more in much less time if you're working that skill of prioritizing. Jason Selk 00:31:39 And remember, you can't prioritize everything, but you can prioritize three things. So in my life, I'm really good every day. I know what my they're my process goals. My three most important activities are. And then I love this little. You know, Tony Robbins gave me this a number of years ago. And every day I write down, I say, what three things have I done? Well, see that? Number three, I answer 1 to 10. How well have I done on my three most important activities for the day? What's one thing I want to improve tomorrow, and what's one action step I can help to make that improvement? And I've got, you know, hundreds and hundreds of of entries in here over the last I think I started this. And when did he give me this 2010, 2000, 2017? that this what I call the success log is really helpful at really keeping me focused on just the channel capacity or the things that I can manage what are most important. Jason Selk 00:32:42 And then I do a mental workout. My own version. In the sports world, it's a three minute. For me, it's a two minute and ten second for people in the business world. That mental workout, I can get it done in two minutes and 10s. So I'm training my mind on a daily basis to focus on the most important things. Joe Sanok 00:32:57 So awesome. Well, Jason, the last question that I always ask is if every private practitioner in the world were listening right now, what would you want them to know? Jason Selk 00:33:05 Yeah, I said this before we started. My parents were both in the field. they were both counselors. My dad specialized in youth and my mother with elderly. And so I, I just I know the importance and the impact that therapists can make on someone's lives. And I guess, you know, there's two things I would really suggest. I learned this from the great Irvine alum, the alum said, it's the relationship that heals. It's the relationship that heals. It's the relationship that heals. Jason Selk 00:33:42 And I think as a therapist, maybe sometimes we forget the impact of us just loving and caring for our clients hands. You know, when a therapist is in a room with someone and they share their dark secrets and we can actually still love them honestly, still respect them and realize, look, we're all human and we all have our own bag of trouble. And so your bag is whether it be worse or not as bad or no judgment on who's worse or better or whatnot, but just that we all have our trouble and then still love them in spite of it. I think it I don't think it gets as much importance as it should. I think that's really, really important for the client. So just remember your words. It's the relationship that heals. It's the relationship that heals, the relationship that heals. And then my other piece that I think was really important for me was decide on your one thing I really figure out as a clinician. What is that one thing you want to be best in the world at? For me, it was self-confidence. Jason Selk 00:34:52 I wanted to help people with self-confidence, but whatever it is, do the research and become fanatical about making sure the people you work with are better at that than others because of your commitment and passion at being the best at that one thing. Joe Sanok 00:35:13 So amazing. I have three pages of notes here. I'm going to go back and listen to your journal entry thing right at the end. doctor Jason Selke, where can people find you? Where can they follow your work? Where can they hire you for keynotes? Jason Selk 00:35:26 probably easiest place is the website. You know, I've got, like you said, five books that are out there, but, the website, jason.com. We try to, you know, we're trying not to sell, sell, sell. We're trying to give, give, give. You know, I've been really fortunate in my work that we've done really well financially. And so it's as much right now about can we just give to people, can we give to people now, again, I'm not doing the actual work for free, but we're trying to give as many of these tips and tools and techniques away as possible because, you know, life is hard. Jason Selk 00:35:58 You know? You know, life is hard. And I think it's harder, you know, that there's a shooting at Florida State today. And, you know, it's just I think our young people are under a lot of pressure. I think our older people are under a lot of pressure. And so if we can all just help each other out, I think that's a really, really good way for us to move this situation. We're in forward. jason.com. If there's ever anything I can do for people, please reach out and try to do everything we can to help. Joe Sanok 00:36:23 So awesome. Well we will put those links in the show notes. Thank you so much for being on the show today. Jason Selk 00:36:27 Yeah it was a pleasure. Keep doing the work you're doing. I know you're making an impact. Joe Sanok 00:36:38 You know, as we listen to this series today and, over the future weeks, it's interesting because I'm doing so many of these interviews, you know, kind of back to back over a couple week period of time. Joe Sanok 00:36:49 And, you know, when I see these consistent messages from people of finding an area, I, I heard the one thing so many times, and it makes me think of Jpac as an and Gary Keller's book, the one thing which I always recommend, you know. you know, J became a friend through Ted and all of that. So as you listen to these episodes, I hope you, the listener, takes action. I hope that you find that balance between consuming and taking action. Just like when we eat, you know, we eat food and if we just consume, it doesn't do anything. You know, we have to take it and turn that into energy. Take this podcast and have that be the food and turn it into the energy to help your private practice. And if you need some help with that, we have our membership community that is just for you, no matter your phase of practice. Over at practice of the practice. Com forward slash membership. You can read all about the different tracks that we have, whether you're in Solo or mega group. Joe Sanok 00:37:38 We've got a track for you. You know, we also couldn't do this show without amazing sponsors like Therapy Notes. Therapy notes is the best electronic health records out there. they will help you switch over from your current EHR. they also give you two months for free or just money off if you use promo code Joe at checkout. they are phenomenal. They help with automated billing. it's going to make it easier to outsource your billing. So many reasons to switch to therapy. Now, let's just head on over to therapy notes. Com read about it and at checkout just use promo code. Joe. Thank you so much for letting me into your ears and into your brain. Have a great day. I'll talk to you soon. Special thanks to the band. Silence is sexy for that intro music, and this podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the producers, the publishers or guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical or other professional information. Joe Sanok 00:38:34 If you want a professional, you should find one.