Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed
Subscribe: Spotify | Email | RSS | More
Could the language we use around divorce be changed to reduce shame and stigma? How do you rebuild a life after letting go of the one you fought for? Could the end of a marriage become the start of yourself?
In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok discusses the new book Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women with Oona Metz, LICSW, CGP.
Podcast Sponsor: Valant
Something I hear over and over again from practice owners in this community: “The one class I was never taught in graduate school was how to run my business.”
And honestly? That’s not a personal failing; that’s a gap in how we train clinicians. You built something real. But nobody handed you the playbook for intake, billing, team management, or what it actually takes to scale past a handful of clinicians.
That’s what Valant is built for.
Valant is the EHR designed exclusively for behavioral health group practices. With two decades of experience, 13 million patients engaging in their EMR and 28,000 providers using their platform, Valant offers the tools that close the gaps in your documentation, billing, and operations — including AI that handles the admin work so your team can stay focused on patients.
Valant created a free interactive resource specifically for group practice owners like you. It’s called the Breaking Through the Growth Ceiling and in literally five minutes, it pinpoints your biggest bottleneck right now, with a 90-day playbook to fix it.
Meet Oona Metz
Oona Metz, LICSW, CGP is a therapist, author, speaker, and Certified Group Psychotherapist with more than 30 years of clinical experience. She specializes in divorce, relationship transitions, and group psychotherapy, with a particular focus on helping women navigate divorce and rebuild their lives. Oona is the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women and founder of the Beacon Group Fellowship, which trains mental health providers to lead divorce support groups.
Visit Oona’s website and connect on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Psychology Today.
In This Podcast
-
The myths and misconceptions around divorce
-
Working with women and men through divorce
-
Inside the Essential Divorce Guide
-
The five phases of divorce grief
-
Oona’s advice to private practitioners
The myths and misconceptions around divorce
Sometimes people treat divorce like how they treat therapy when they operate from their limiting beliefs: they believe it only to be something that you do when you are struggling so badly, and are either at the end of your tether or acting out of sorts.
There’s so much shame and stigma still around divorce and, personally, I’m so passionate about reducing shame and stigma around divorce, and I think one of the ways we can do that is [with] language and talking about it. (Oona Metz)
Some words like “failure”, “failed marriage”, and “broken home” still swirl around the concept of divorce, but these ways of framing it are incredibly outdated and simply cause more shame. They are unhelpful and damaging.
What if we talked about a family that was restructured? Or a life transition? Divorce is a life transition. It’s not necessairly a failure; it’s more of a life transition. (Oona Metz)
Working with women and men through divorce
Things have changed. Now, women have more financial independence, and in some countries they are protected by the state through housing and social support. Women can now vote, have bank accounts, and, in many countries, own property on equal footing with men.
These changes mean that so many women no longer have to stay or be forced into unloving or abusive marriages just to keep a roof over their heads.
While this may mean that divorce rates increase, what lies beneath is important: it offers people, both men and women, the ability to choose partners based on compatibility.
I think there are a lot of women who are … Oftentimes, at the 20-year mark or the 25-year mark, raising kids and then looking at their partner, and realizing that they want something different for their next chapter, and that they’re not getting their needs met. (Oona Metz)
Inside the Essential Divorce Guide
[The book] walks people through the emotional journey of divorce, and it starts on day 0 or even day -0, and it starts when someone tells you when they’re going to initiate divorce … Or when you make the decision, and then it walks you through each and every phase. (Oona Metz)
Inside Oona’s book and guide for divorce, she touches on subjects such as how to:
- Care for yourself
- Create a team to help you
- Tell people
- Care for your kids if you have them
- Renegotiate your boundaries and feelings
- Create a new identity in dating after divorce
The book takes you from the very beginning to the end of the divorce process, right from the beginning of the end of your marriage up until you feel ready and prepared to start dating someone new.
The five phases of divorce grief
Additionally, in the book, Oona takes readers through the five phases of divorce grief, which often are:
1 – Divorce grief. The important thing to focus on in this stage is managing your central nervous system and making sure you are eating and sleeping well.
2 – The rollercoaster of emotions. This is where you are feeling everything very intensely.
3 – Mending. This is a time when you are through most of the legal and financial parts, so you start to turn back towards yourself.
The focus is so much on the other during a divorce, and mending gives you a chance to focus on yourself. (Oona Metz)
4 – Letting go. There are so many things to let go of during a divorce.
5 – Moving on, the final stage.
You don’t forget the divorce, but this is a time to take that energy and invest it into something that brings you purpose, meaning, and joy. It may be a new career, relationship, or hobby, but it is a way that you turn a new chapter in your life.
Women especially, we’re so socialized to think about what other people need and what other people want. So, once you get out of your divorce, it really creates an opportunity to have a new identity, and part of that is really thinking about what it is you need and what it is that you want in life, and I really encourage people to do that work before they get into dating. (Oona Metz)
Oona’s advice to private practitioners
Group therapy is great and so healing, especially for clients going through a divorce. Secondly, you must move your body whichever way you decide and however feels best for you.
Sponsors Mentioned in this Episode:
Valant created a free interactive resource specifically for group practice owners like you. It’s called Breaking Through the Growth Ceiling, and in literally five minutes, it pinpoints your biggest bottleneck right now, with a 90-day playbook to fix it. Download it for free.
Discover your best-fit membership group to join to help you reach your next level!
Books mentioned in this episode:
Oona Metz – Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women
Joe Sanok – Dating After Betrayal: A Guided Healing and Re-Entry Experience
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Visit Oona’s website and connect on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Psychology Today.
Check out Podcast Launch School!
Discover your best-fit membership group to join to help you reach your next level!
Work with us one-on-one!
Sign up for Group Practice Boss!
Check out these additional resources:
-
- Implementing the Mental State of the World Report in Your Practice with Dr. Tara Thiagarajan | POP 1401
- Practice of the Practice Network
- Group Practice Launch
- Group Practice Boss: www.practiceofthepractice.com/grouppracticeboss $149 a month
- PoP Group Practice Owners Facebook Group
- Free resources to help you start, grow, and scale
- Work with us
- Practice of the Practice Network
Meet Joe Sanok
Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners who are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.
Thanks For Listening!
Feel free to leave a comment below or share the social media below!
