How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication with Oscar Trimboli | POP 959

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Would you call yourself a good listener? How can listening genuinely lead to a fuller and quicker transformation? What differentiates great leaders who listen well from adequate leaders?

In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok speaks about how to listen and discover the hidden key to better communication with Oscar Trimboli.

Podcast Sponsor: Alma

A photo of podcast sponsor, Alma is captured. Alma is an insurance company for therapists. Alma sponsors the Practice of the Practice podcast.

Going in-network with insurance can be tough. Filing all of the right paperwork is time-consuming and tedious, and even after you’re done, it can take months to get credentialed and start seeing clients.

That’s why Alma makes it easy and financially rewarding to accept insurance. When you join their insurance program, you can get credentialed within 45 days, and access enhanced reimbursement rates with major payers. They also handle all of the paperwork, from eligibility checks to claims submissions, and guarantee payment within two weeks of each appointment.

Once you’ve joined Alma’s insurance program, you can see clients in your state of licensure regardless of where you’re working from.

Learn more about building a thriving private practice with Alma at

Meet Oscar Trimboli

A photo of Oscar Trimboli is captured. He is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening, and a sought-after keynote speaker. Oscar is featured on the Practice of the Practice, a therapist podcast.

Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening, and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace.

Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words. Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens.

Visit Oscar’s website and connect on LinkedIn and YouTube. FREEBIE: Try out Oscar’s Deep Listening Quiz!

In this Podcast

  • What therapists have to learn about listening
  • How to get better at listening
  • Active listening versus deep listening
  • Listening as a leader
  • Oscar’s advice to private practitioners

What therapists have to learn about listening

Many times therapists may fall into the easy trap of making things easier while listening to their clients by thinking ahead of what they may say, which questions they could ask them, or which treatments or suggestions they could give. Even though this feels like listening, it’s not.

I think just coming back to remembering why you got into [private] practice, remembering to be open, remembering the … Rule; the first thing somebody says is not necessarily what they think, and what they mean. (Oscar Trimboli)

Studies have shown that people speak more words than what they think in their minds, so a lot of their speech is “useless” when it comes to uncovering what they feel and think.

How to get better at listening

Our research tells us that 92% of people are stuck at level one listening, which is listening to themselves. They have so many browser tabs open in their own mind chewing up memory to process what’s available in front of them. (Oscar Trimboli)

First off, you have to limit distractions;

  • Put your phone off or on silent and put it away so that it’s not even in your range of sight
  • Take off your smartwatch that sends you notifications or vibrates.
  • Have a ritual before a client that clears your mind and focuses your attention on the upcoming session so that you don’t jump into it just after finishing another task
It’s that active professionalism that says [that] the tuning is for the audience, it’s not for me. The tuning is a mark of respect to the other [people] … not to me. So for each of you, go back to that beginner’s mindset and go, “What is my tuning ritual?” (Oscar Trimboli)

A potential example of a tuning ritual could be;

  • Deliberate breathwork
  • Drinking a glass of water
  • Playing some music

These types of rituals and little routines help you to arrive ready to your sessions, instead of arriving rushed.

Active listening versus deep listening

Active listeners notice what people say and deep listeners notice what people don’t say, and what is absent.

Deep listeners notice much more of what is unsaid, not just in the dialogue but also in the body language, their breathing, the gap of their silences, and so forth.

Listening as a leader

People can sense whether someone that they are speaking to is listening to them fully.

Great leaders get groups to listen to each other, so in that context where you have a group of people operating to support the outcomes of the practice … It’s critical that if you don’t want to become a bottleneck to your practice, you need to help the group consistently hear from each other. (Oscar Trimboli)

As the leader, you need to curate an environment where the team itself feels comfortable, willing, and interested in learning about itself. Where all the employees feel that they can come together and ask questions or give feedback without you having to be there to always mediate. Every conversation has three elements to it:

  • The speaker
  • The listener
  • The dialogue itself

Oscar’s advice to private practitioners

Ensure that you are noticing what people are not saying by becoming aware of the signals around what they are not saying.

You can transform somebody’s life by really listening to them, through their words as well as their body language and silence.

Sponsors Mentioned in this episode:

Books mentioned in this episode:

Oscar Trimboli – How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication Oscar Trimboli – Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words Oscar Trimboli – Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions

Useful links mentioned in this episode:

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Meet Joe Sanok

A photo of Joe Sanok is displayed. Joe, private practice consultant, offers helpful advice for group practice owners to grow their private practice. His therapist podcast, Practice of the Practice, offers this advice.

Joe Sanok helps counselors to create thriving practices that are the envy of other counselors. He has helped counselors to grow their businesses by 50-500% and is proud of all the private practice owners who are growing their income, influence, and impact on the world. Click here to explore consulting with Joe.

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